Tomatoes

I still hate the word. Slimy red things on my sandwich that need to fuck off. Tastes like a mixture of fresh cranberries and milk, which I have been served before with cereal. Acidic AF. Just no, alright? Don’t talk to me about it.

Like, wtf are going on with these tomatoes. I'm all for bad asses but like you should get that checked out.

Like, wtf are going on with these tomatoes. I’m all for bad asses but like you should get that checked out.

Well I’ve been converted to the world of thinking that tomatoes might be okay like maybe sometimes. I’ve always liked them cooked but “raw tomato” – what are we dogs here? I didn’t even like cutting them, and would for real ask the weirdos that wished for raw tomato to cut them they damned selves. I did that. What a cunt.

I'm such a cunt sometimes

I’m such a cunt sometimes.

So this bitch done gone and contracted the bronchitis and sinusitis in Late July, after hauling lumber in a rotting shed while hopped up on cold meds and kindness. I couldn’t smell or taste anything at all for over two weeks.

I’ve been reading The Old World Kitchen: The Rich Tradition of European Peasant Cooking by Elisabeth Luard and using it as a food bible. And I’ve learned that the result of cooking halved tomatoes stuffed with garlic and herbs on low heat for over an hour is an explosion of flavour (YES FLAVOUR WITH A “U” WORDPRESS YOU FASCISTS) that works well as a side dish to whatever protein you’ve deemed fit for consumption, as well as a base for really good soups and sauces.

When I open my own soup kitchen for the homeless and people living off of student loans, I will serve my garden soup and you all will LIKE IT.

When I open my own soup kitchen for the homeless and people living off of student loans, I will serve my garden soup and you all will LIKE IT YA DAMNED DIRTY HOBOS EAT MY HIPPIE SOUP.

So now I want to talk about this recipe. I’ve modified it a little bit and the way I jot down recipes is a little different. I’m hoping that what Heidi SwansonHeidi Swanson did here http://www.101cookbooks.com/archives/richard-olneys-garlic-soup-recipe.html at her recipe journal 101cookbooks.com is totally Kosher.

I swear I'm getting a better phone with a better camera soon. On right is like only 1 zucchini's worth of food.

I swear I’m getting a better phone with a better camera soon. On right is like only 1/2 zucchini’s worth of food.

Provençal Tomatoes

8 large ripe garden tomatoes, like beefsteak varieties

3 tbsp olive oil

2-3 garlic cloves

1 handful of herbs: basil, parsley, chives, etc.

Salt

Use two cast iron frying pans. If you don’t own one, don’t be an idiot, go get one! And learn how to clean it properly, you’re not a goddamned farm animal. Cut tomatoes in half, remove seeds and that woody part in the middle. Heat the oil on low (3); add tomatoes cut side down. Fry them over the gentlest of heat for 40-45 minutes, shaking the pan from time to time so that the tomatoes do not stick and burn. It is this slow, patient cooking which gives the dish its unique flavour.

Peel, crush, and mince garlic with the herbs.

Turn the tomatoes over, and sprinkle them with salt and minced garlic/herbs. Let them continue to cook very gently on the other side – another half hour isn’t too long.

This cookbook is an honest-to-God treasure, I highly recommend looking into it.

Buy on Amazon:

http://www.amazon.ca/The-Old-World-Kitchen-Tradition/dp/1612192688 

http://www.mhpbooks.com/books/the-old-world-kitchen/

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